Countdown to Xbox One Launch: Ryse: Son of Rome

I’m not even going to preview this properly. It’s pretty and mediocre. What I AM going to post is ALL OF THE FUCKING PUNS FROM THE REVIEWS.

The Ryse and fall of the Roman Empire

Ryse: Son of Rome is let down

Ryse: Son of Rome review: before the fall

'Ryse: Son of Rome' is a Trojan horse with no surprises inside (that’s not even the right fucking empire!)

Ryse: Son of Rome review: one long fall

Ryse: Son of Rome review: Tedious maximus

Don’t bother getting up

Fiddling while it burns.

if all roads lead here, it might just be better to turn back now.

You are not entertained.

These are all real, and on an internet near you. Games journalism: going down the road of least resistance. Fuck you all.

Well, the Xbox One is finally out today, and I’ve been previewing the exclusives all this week. Take a look. The verdict? Forza and Dead Rising are worth your time, and if you like FUZZY WUZZY FLUFFY ANIMALS, then maybe Zoo Tycoon is for you.

Notes

  1. beejoy15 reblogged this from gaminginterrupted
  2. zonasss reblogged this from gaminginterrupted
  3. casualsmarts reblogged this from gaminginterrupted and added:
    Graphics on this game keeeeeep blowing me away jayzus
  4. georgiaroche reblogged this from gaminginterrupted
  5. pleasesit-andlistentomeramble reblogged this from gaminginterrupted
  6. suited-monkey reblogged this from gaminginterrupted
  7. softcoregamer reblogged this from gaminginterrupted and added:
    Ha ha, I like “Tedious Maximus”
  8. gaminginterrupted posted this